Recollections
by IvoryRose888
Summary: No matter where he goes, the backlash of his decisions haunts him, taunts him, weighs upon his heart, mind, and soul like a leech that has far out-stayed its welcome. The ones he cared for most are dead, and it's all his fault. (Rated T for unpleasant stuff.)


"No,I'll keep going!"

And keep going they did. On and on they rode, though it seemed as though they should have collapsed miles and hours ago. Ceaselessly they dove deeper into the thick forest, no sign of the other side from sight or sound. Were they lost?

Maybe.

The scenery around him appeared as familiar as endlessly stretching branches could, but something about it felt...wrong. Be it the hour of the day or the scene itself, he didn't know. It just wasn't right.

A snap and a flash and everything suddenly transformed.

He was still in the forest, still pushing his steed to its very limits to avoid the female titan. Or at least, that's what he believed. That in itself was the queer circumstance, for he didn't hear her great, crashing trod any longer. As it happened, he couldn't hear anything besides his own pounding heart and galloping steed. The demands for orders, the desperate cries, the chorus of hooves; it was all gone, dematerialized within seconds. What was-

His heart stalled when a swinging shape in the branches high above captured and held his attention, his eyes wide and watery as his mount carried him beneath and past the contorted corpse of his honored subordinate. Bowing his head in spite of himself, Levi urged the speeding creature between his legs forward, putting his full weight into moving forward.

Farther and farther the charger pressed on, always at full speed, never slowing nor tiring. Suddenly, stark crimson flashed into his vision, brilliant against the continuous moss and meadow of the foliage. He jerked his head this way and that, his eyes instantly absorbing but his mind barely processing the gory displays on either side: his friends, his companions, bloodied and torn to pieces, facing a bright blue sky that only reflected off their eyes. His chest ached, the pain of loss eating at his very soul as he passed these fallen figures as well.

After a time the animal finally slowed, for an immense tree emerged before them, blocking the entire path and any way around the gigantic plant. As the mare approached the wide trunk it let out an ear splitting neigh, suddenly bucking and propelling itself onto its back feet, sending Levi crashing to the dirt. Bewildered as he was by the creature's actions, he could only gape for a moment, for a horridly familiar scene was spread before him: the body of a caramel-haired woman with matching eyes lay poised against the stately trunk, her head bent back at an unnatural angle as the morbid scarlet stains on her fair cheeks began to dry. By this time an unbearable knot had grown in his throat, and as he crawled to the misshapen form he fruitlessly choked back a sob, his eyes filling instantly as he shakily took the limp figure into his arms.

"P-P-Petra..." He gasped, his body convulsing from the buildup of emotions trying to break free.

"It's your fault, you know." The lips suddenly moved, bringing forth this horrid, mutinous speech. "You knew he should have transformed. You knew we'd never survive. You knew she was too dangerous. But you let him decide. You let us push him because we were too comfortable in our success, too confident in our abilities. And now," A pale, trembling hand reached up to caress his tear stained cheeks. "We're gone. Forever. And it's all your fault..." She settled back into his embrace. Her eyes glossed over once more, and the body became a corpse, flaccid and heavy in his arms.

"Petra!" He cried. "Please! Petra, I'm so sorry. It's all my fault. Please come back...Please..."

"Levi."

What?

"Levi!"

"Wh-"

" Leeeviii!"

"Hanji?..." He started, his eyes opening for the first time as the spectacled woman shook his shoulder.

"There you are." She gave him a weary half-smile, concern radiating through her creased brows as she scrutinized his drawn features. "Another nightmare, huh?" She mumbled and ripped her eyes from him.

"I..."

"You're...crying, Levi." She whispered, her voice cracking on the last word. "Even when she really died..." She swallowed, but said nothing more. Levi merely stared at her with his typical gray stare, disregarding the liquid salt stinging his eyes and skin.

"Oh, Levi." Hajji murmured as she carefully wrapped her arms around him, pulling his frame into her with no resistance. "I'm so sorry."

Captain Levi didn't reply, for the knot in his throat robbed him of any words as he continued to allow his only living friend to comfort him in his sorrows.


End file.
